I have had a similar conversation with so many children over the years. Often the conversations were within my own family. There are far too many broken families struggling to get to the next day. The children involved are unable to see the why. No explanation makes it acceptable or understandable. Fathers leave.
But leaving is not the full story of abandonment. Years and years of doubt turned to guilt, anger, frustration and loneliness. No phone call. No letter. No birthday gift. Silence.
It may take a long time for a ‘step-father’ to become part of this new family, but so precious!
My Father (C) MSK 7-4-2018
Birthdays have come and gone
Life’s challenges at every turn.
I wanted you to be there so much
Just to see if I lost or if I won.
Mother made excuses
I kept expecting you to show.
Abandoning us was as cruel
As all the other abuses.
You haven’t come around
Since I was four.
I will always be your son
But you’re not my father any more.
But it’s alright, I survived
I have a great family.
Mother met a really good man
Got much better after he arrived.
He takes care of me as his own
Promises he’ll always be there.
Teaching me things you never could
And laughing at how much I’ve grown.
You are still my dad
And I’m your daughter.
But I know now
You were never my father.
You haven’t come around
Since I was four.
I will always be your son
But you’re not my father any more.
Powerful words, Mike, and an unfortunate truth for many. Thank God for the stepfathers who step up and do right by our children.
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Thank you so much. I know from personal experience how hard it is and how much patience is needed, but there is no better place to put our efforts.
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Agreed. I know from personal experience too–the anger, the unanswered questions, the grief, the disappointment. It’s tough to go through. But the right kind of support does a lot to ease and eventually heal the mind.
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