Archive for August, 2016

Are They All Like This?

Never into sports as a kid.  My family moved a lot as I was growing up.  One time I went to three different schools in one year.  Did not make a lot of friends.  But the people I did get a long with tended to be female.  Maybe I was more mature than other boys.  I just never understood why guys act the way they do.  Part inspired and brave, part stupid and unaware.  I have heard many conversations on this topic.  If you listen to ten different women they will have similar complaints regarding their husbands, – boyfriends, bosses, co-workers. 

We all know the saying about good guys finishing last.  But that is only the start of it. If our relationships follow many others before us, woman have so much baggage when they think about the men in their lives.  Some of them just made bad choices, but many thought they knew someone honest, kind and sincere, only to find out they are liars and jerks like all the others.

I have never been like all the others.  But so many women I know have been jaded by relationships that end in cruel and bitter melt downs.  As hard as I try in many cases I can’t get past their history.  As if all men are evil creeps in the end – they just act nice at first so they can get what they want.  The true nice guys – we don’t want anything. We see women as people, friends, partners.  We know there are strengths and weaknesses from both sexes, but together we are whole.  We see both sides.  It is hard for many women to look at us without seeing all the other failures in their past.

Those were my thoughts last weekend as I wrote “Not That Kind Of Man”.

© MSK 8/21/2016

All through school the boys would laugh at you

Say things about you they knew weren’t true

Doing what you didn’t want them to do.

Never saw life from your point of view

 

 Men at church looked you up and down

Got way too close when their wives weren’t around

More than eyes always fondling your gown

Then they dare you to make a sound.

               

The guys you knew no matter where you work

Treated you like a toy and acted like a jerk

Harassing secretaries, waitresses and clerks

As if it was one of their many perks.

 

                                I’ve never been one of them

                                I’m just not that kind of man.

                                It may take you years to forget them

                                But I hope one day you can.

 

One after another they were all the same

Just a different face and another name

Refuse to play so you take all the blame

You could never win if you played their game.

 

                                I’ve never been one of them

                                I’m just not that kind of man.

                                Soon you’ll look at me and not see them

                                I’ve never been that kind of man,

 

Husbands cheat as easily as they lie

Ask you to forgive them as they watch you cry

So many disappointments you no longer try

Curled up in bed and just wanting to die.

 

                                I’m just not that kind of man

                                What you’ve been through I understand.

                                Soon you’ll look at me and not see them

                                I’ll never be that kind of man.

 

                                I’ll never be that kind of man

                                I’ll never be that kind of man.

                                Soon you’ll look at me and not see them.   

                                I’ll never be that kind of man                            

Yesterday I heard that I lost another great friend and musical partner.  My sister called me last night to tell me there had been an accident and she did not have a lot of details, but a great friend of mine died yesterday.  I mentioned Ric Ahlers in my blog posts before.  He was the guitar player/vocalist in the first real band I was in called The Personal Touch.  He co-authored with me one of my favorite songs I called “For Those Who Wait“.  (With music it was titled: “Our Bodies Move“).

Ric was my brother-in-law and was looking for a keyboard player to start a duo to play locally and out on the road.  Though I had only dabbled with piano and was mostly a rhythm guitar singer-songwriter, he gently persuaded me to join him.  Then for about three months he patiently guided me as I learned not only how to play keyboards (not just piano, but all the other sounds keyboard players are responsible for), but also a bunch of popular cover tunes for the first time.  He was way ahead of me as far as knowledge and talent (I try to take my own advice and play with musicians that are better than me!) and had played out before.   We also played our original songs as part of our normal set list.  He had more confidence in me than I did, but I guess that is a familiar story to my blog readers.

We started as a duo and played local clubs.  We had a full sound as we both sang (as well as we could) and I played my 12 string guitar and the keyboards and later programmed drum machines.  He played lead guitar and also controlled a drum machine with an accompaniment triggered by his  bass pedals that played bass and added filler strings and piano chords.  We could play anything from classic standards to Jimi Hendrix tunes and fit into a very small space.

He sat while playing guitar and kicking his bass pedals.  He stood over 6 foot 10!  Some people would come up to shake his hand after a tune and jump back as he stood up to talk to them!!

He was as tall sitting as I was standing and it really surprised people and caught them off guard.  I would have to warn him about low ceiling fans at hotels and lobbies!  We added Ann Ellis as a vocalist and traveled around the county as a trio in his van.  THOSE WERE THE DAYS!

Life is not always easy but Ric was always a gentle giant.  With a heart just as big, he climbed back up if he got knocked down, and carried you on his shoulders if you could not keep going.  He is also family and we will all miss him and are stunned by the sudden loss of a great man in many ways.

There is a joke, not much of a joke really, but a saying that describes a point of view we too often have in the United States:

Question:

What do you call it when you speak two languages?

Answer:

Bi-lingual.

Question:

What do you call it when you speak several languages?

Answer:

Multi-lingual.

Question:

What do you call it if you speak one language?

Answer:

American.

As you can see it is not really funny and not really a joke, but I use this often to remind myself how different our decisions and thoughts can be depending on perspective or point of view.  I was delighted with the response to my recent poem entitled “Hearts of Stone“.  (…..Actually, I initially titled it “Where You Live”.  As mentioned before I am not good at naming my own songs.  My daughter Alisa – and partner in the success of this blog – correctly suggested I change the title).  I wanted to give you a bit of history to this poem as it was actually inspired by follower comments.  All of which I read and respond to – not as quickly as I like but I try to get to them all as I truly appreciate the time and thoughts from so many people.

I have often mentioned that I am thankful for access and exposure to thoughts and feedback around the globe.  It helps open my eyes to things I would not normally consider.  Creative people all over the world are represented here and it is amazing what an impact you have had on me and my writings.  A while back I posted a question about what was your first concert.  While many responses were very cool, some responded they were not allowed to have huge concerts in their country.  This struck me deeply.  First; as a callous question from an arrogant blogger who takes life for granted.  We often complain about politics or taxes and a million other things in the US and other countries but we have a choice.  We may not get our way but we can voice our opinion and discuss our thoughts openly.  This is not true everywhere.  Secondly: it drove this arrogant blogger to think about how many things we take for granted every day.  So I tried to look around my little piece of the world from another point of view.

The first line is kind of an inside joke and would easily be understood by people that live in places line my town.  We often have cloudy – hazy skies most of the time and it gets so bad that the traffic reports have to remind us what that big bright thing in the sky is on sunny days!  Often at night we do not see stars and frequently miss the experiences of full moons or eclipses.  The rest of the poem tries to reflect the things humans might notice looking at their world.  Some are glorious and beautiful and worth celebrating while other things are tragic and unimaginable to ‘outsiders’.

I have read the words in this poem many times since posting the poem on MIDIMike and a melody keeps creeping into my subconscious when I repeat them.  In the same line as the global inspiration for the lyrics, the melody and arrangement is not my ‘normal’ style.  I may be the only one that likes it, but I cannot get rid of it.  I will be finished putting this poem to music soon, but to be forewarned it is not a replica of my past works and musical pieces.  It is my thanks to all of you.  It is a sharing.  It is an apology for not keeping my mind open to others.  It is a simple reflection from deep inside.  It is an invitation to continuing communications that will bring different cultures and peoples together.  If we cannot communicate we are doomed.

I will post as a song as soon as I have a decent recording of what has been spiraling inside my head.

Click Here to read the original poem.