Recently I was thinking about a work incident. Not to go into details, but there were so many lessons to learn. A co-worker with some minor authority over me tried to get me to ‘sacrifice something’ so that they could ‘benefit’. There was no real reason that I could connect to this request – except that they thought they should get preferential treatment because they deserved it.
When I refused with a simple but unmistakable rejecting statement, the ‘bully’ came out. Intimidation, threatening, and harassing behavior flew rapidly in my direction.
I am a rather easy person to get along with. I do not get into gossip, rumors or status. I just want to do my job, have a little fun if I can, and go home. Sometimes that is not possible, and the occasional confrontation will creep in. If personal friction happens, I will usually smooth it over and try to let it affect me as little as possible. I would rather forget it and start fresh the next time I meet the other person. But this time I wondered about being that passive and easy-going. Was I improving things? Did it make the day or life in general better? Does it really help to let people take advantage of my flexible attitude and/or position in life?
I came to the conclusion that it did not help or improve things at all. If I let a bully succeed at threatening, intimidating and harassing me, they will take their successful strategy and slam it on the next guy or girl. As a friend of mine put it; I am more likely to speak up if someone else becomes a victim than if I do. In some way to connect to the #metoo movement without being insensitive to that real concern, I needed to find not just the ability but the benefit in raising my voice. I went to company admins and filed a formal complaint. Doing nothing and ‘rolling with the punches’ does not and should not always work. At some point I learned I needed to speak up and highlight an event that in my age I could brush off easily, knowing others might not have the ability to defend or endure the hostile environment.
Is there a reason they feel so privileged and deserving of what others are denied?
I wonder why so many people in power feel it is OK to mistreat others.
Why do they think they can get away with this kind of behavior?
Because historically: they can.
I would like to break from history and change the future.
