While not written from personal experience, the tragic loss and seemingly endless rush of memories becomes contagious. Unfortunately, we feel the duty to carry the burden of pain. We collect our own sadness and take it with us wherever we go. Sometimes, it is more painful to let go.
MIDIMike
I offered you all I am
As you demanded the bigger half
I tried to keep them together, but cried until I could not laugh.
We own no jewels or treasures
Beyond the memories we made.
Loving life and nature’s pleasures, but soon even those will fade.
Brilliant colors turn to gray
Precious moments gone.
It all grows now in anger, tormenting everyday.
Hard, still to believe
Please and a simple thank you
Became words you could not say, another way to deceive.
I’ve spent half my life
Fixing my mistakes,
And half of it living yours.
Evidently I don’t know
What it really takes
To heal the open sores.
Brilliant colors turn to gray
Precious moments gone.
Now they grow in anger
Tormenting everyday.
What I have left
Is half of nothing.
Neither yours nor mine.
Years of hard work
And nights in disagreement
Didn’t help the bottom line.
MIDIMike
This is a small collection of ideas, really. Some phrase or thought that I repeated over and over until I could get to a pen and some paper. (Back in the day!). Some of the verses flow and are just fun to say. Observations and my favorite past-time of stating the obvious are scattered here. No real theme that I can remember. Paying it forward. Waiting for a future song.
MIDIMike
Maybe this is a simple celebration of diversity. In all things. I could never understand why the Christian faithful spends so much energy hating the very things their perfect god created. My parents just didn’t let us grow up like that. We never saw differences a threat, but as life from a different point of view and perspective.
MIDIMike
I’ve been told I am so lucky
Doesn’t seem that way
From my point of view.
My history with women;
Lost faith in mankind.
Just to name two.
The weight
The mass
The volume
The energy
Whatever you want to call it.
All forces applied can delight or destroy.
The heat
The bond
The tension
The gravity
You take one, you take all of it.
Love’s my precious gift or Nothing but a Toy.
When honesty becomes a plaything
Nothing but a Toy
It’s hard to trust in anything.
Nothing but a Toy
When honesty becomes a plaything
An old worn-out Toy
It’s hard to trust in anything.
I’m your little Toy.
I’ve been told that I am So Lucky
Doesn’t seem that way
From my point of view.
My history with women
And faith in mankind
Just to name one or two.
Clearly that is what this was, an idea, but I love the first verse in that it sets up the rest of the mood for the song. I also have a lot of driving references in my songs over the years. Easy analogies, and I am an analogy king. The line about putting away your toys is another question that pops up in my themes about musical equipment and my home studio. I am not sure how long I will continue to write and record original songs and local bands. I am not sure when but I cannot stop now so I have not written my last song yet.
Another look at relationships and friendships that just work well. Things fit in place. Intentions are understood. A smile that means everything. This is what it feels like to belong to someone.
Bucket lists have been a recurring thing now and then. In the earlier days I would think about crossing off something on the list before I die. Now my list has a bunch of things to do before someone else like the artist or performer dies! Back to the song, it is trying to inspire us to think of life as short for some but death happens to all of us as they say. What would you like to do? One of those was just to finish something to be proud of. To actually accomplish something good. But whatever it is, I want to take you with me when I do it.
I read these lyrics and know this is a compilation of feelings about my direct family. Many have suffered a bit over the years. I am sure most of it went untold and unshared. We are just like that. Back to the topic of heaven and death with this song. Great people are not forgotten. Good people give me reason to think of a heaven where I will indeed see them again. We have a strange way of dealing with extreme pain toward the end of life. We treat it like it is the last test or challenge you need to complete before you pass on.
MidiMike 