Posts Tagged ‘#observation’

Sure enough, as the years passed the allergies and reactions changed. Some triggers no longer caused days of panicked suffocation brought on by these asthma attacks. A number of the allergens would start to cause breathing problems but I learned if I could remove myself from the environment or place myself in a calming mental state and focus on breathing properly I could stop the attacks from getting worse.

Eventually I reached a point where the severe attacks were rare. I could manage to do most of the things I needed to do and new friends had no idea that I suffered from bronchial asthma. As these things shifted I started to have sneezing fits in the place of attacks. I would walk into a room or go outside and breathe in the cold/hot air and start sneezing out of control. It was not unusual to sneeze 30 – 40 times in a row. Sneezing five times in rapid succession is exhausting. By the time I hit 30 I was helpless. My body temperature would raise dramatically and I would break out in a heavy sweat. Now, even those symptoms are gone.

Nowadays there is politics in everything. There was back when I was born, too. Politicians decided to make possession and use of marijuana a crime similar to use of narcotics and psychotropic based drugs. This allowed US law enforcement agencies to arrest and imprison ‘specific groups of radicals and dissidents’ who were known to use marijuana. In my pursuit of life, liberty and health, I was made a criminal by my own government for using something in my own home that I could grow in my back yard! Marijuana has been used throughout human history and there is no evidence based reason for a Schedule 1 classified drug. This year the WHO (World Health Organization) suggested rescheduling use of marijuana to delete its schedule 1 classification. https://www.icci.science/data/files/ECDDcannabisoutcome.pdf

My state of Ohio passed a medical marijuana law a couple years ago. You are required to be approved for a number of medical conditions by select certified doctors in the state. Once approved you will be issued a medical marijuana card that can be used in Ohio. I applied for the card and easily qualified for intractable pain. Late last year the first dispensary opened in Ohio. There are no dispensaries anywhere near me and the program is way behind schedule.

As a young adult I thought marijuana would be legalized very soon. I kept thinking this as I saw friends, family, classmates, teachers and every class of people destroyed by alcohol, sleeping pills, tobacco, sugar, salt and a million other things that seemed far more dangerous and showed little or no benefits. Years went on and no change in political attitudes, though there was a clear change in social views. I would just like to be able to use marijuana as a medication and no longer be a criminal by the time I die.

Then I would like to see the thousands of people with criminal records for non-violent use be freed and their records expunged. If it is not asking too much, I would like my country’s politicians to be governed by facts, science and compromise for the common good. I may not live to see that one.

The End of the Road

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Back before it was the thing to do, my wife and I took this picture.  Literally.  One of us aimed it and the other one snapped the photo.  But this was a special occasion.  This is one of the few photos of our wedding.  We got married in the winter in a local park overlooking the city.  It was an extremely small wedding, but we did have a few uninvited guests.  There were a couple of reporters looking for something to write about on a day when there is nothing to write about.  They saw my wife and myself, with our daughter Alisa in hand, as we were reading the wedding vows that we had written to each other and  exchanging roses. We were standing under the small gazebo in the freezing cold; as calm as you please.

They came up and started a conversation, I figure they thought we were just a couple of crazy people that wanted to know what the heck we were doing.  When they realized it was a wedding ceremony, they decided this was something to write about!  They took our pictures – the only others taken of our wedding – and wrote an article that ended up on the 1st page of the People – Events section.  The article was warm and friendly and captured the humor that you can see in our selfie.  If it is true that the bigger and fancier the wedding, the shorter the marriage will be…. we got it made!

In another time long ago, I made my living in injected molded plastics.  Long history but the memory I told a co-worker the other day was worth posting.  As you probably guess, I am not a conformist.  I have a hard time understanding why simple things are done wrong and I have a nasty habit of pointing it out sometimes.

As a supervisor of a night shift crew, we manufactured large panels of plastic for assembly in auto plants.  The machine operators were opening huge metal doors, pulling out heavy molded plastic panels and would trim excess plastic with blades and pack the parts in boxes, to be taken away by other busy bees.

When I started working there, I watched what they were doing for a long time.  I had time and motion training from the old days and I was really curious.  One night, I went to the machine operator with a tall stool.  I suggested he do a few changes in the layout and process and suggested he sit on the stool to be more comfortable.   He responded well to my suggestions but told me he could not sit down.  I stopped for a second and asked why.  He was told the could not sit down at his station.  When I asked the long of it – the owner/manager did not think you could work hard if you were sitting down.  I pondered this for a few days.

Then the following week on the evening shift I went into the offices and took out all the chairs and put them in the warehouse.  When asked about the incident I replied that I thought I was doing as instructed and making the company more efficient since I was informed that you cannot work hard sitting down.

In retrospect, I should have been fired and should have thought of that possibility,  I did not.  But the next day there were tall stools by each of the molding machines.

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Still Turning (c) 

I keep looking through the blinds
Not knowing what I’ll find.
I keep looking
I keep looking.

I start walking out the door
Can’t remember what for.
I start walking
I keep walking.

I turn left then I turn right
Just trying to get it right.
I’m still turning
Still turning.

Spending much more than I make
Never have what it takes.
Spending my time
Spend all my time.

Think about it day and night
See it all in black and white.
Better think again
Think again.

I turn left then I turn right
Just trying to get it right.
I’m still turning
Still turning.

Looks good but sounds all wrong
Like words to a different song.
Doesn’t feel right
Feel alright.

Never know what the future brings
Tell Daddy everything.
You never know
You never know.

Once upon a time, maybe two
You love someone who loves you.
Save the moment
Save the moment.

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 Sitting on the edge of a rainbow

Waiting for the storm to appear.

Thunder rolls toward vast blue skies

The rain follows soon: it is here.

Thick dark clouds swallowing the sun

Icy winds twist your thoughts each day.

Boundless distance: forgotten time

Watch as the stars begin to play.

I got hit by lightning

Just the other day.

The Port Hole opened,

And I couldn’t look away.

It called my name.

Every now and then

We see eye to eye.

The Port Hole opens

With no chance to say goodbye.

You called my name.

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Here is the thing;  IT happens.  LIFE happens.  Doors open.  Doors lock.  Time is too short.  Reinforcements too late.  People are nice.  People are mean.  Nature Is beautiful.  Nature is deadly.  You can look at this post as poetry or preaching.  A waste of time or a gold mine.  These events WILL happen.  They will happen to you.  They will happen to someone you know.  Each will occur during good times and terrible ones.  The optimist and the others have their answers and their advice.  Here is mine; These events will happen – prepare for them.  That means back up plans for the back up plans in some situations but also taking advantage of the opportunity.  I am an opportunist.                  

To follow our past conversation, we all want those that have succeeded to reach out and help struggling artists.  I am suggesting here that we are helped all the time, but too often we are not prepared to actually hear or understand the message.  We need to be prepared and look for the opening door, because it will happen.  It happens all the time. As I read great articles and poems, learn of projects and accomplishments and all the comments from this blogging community I KNOW people are encouraging others all the time.  We share struggles and that helps others prepare, because it will happen.  I just wanted to give you some idea of how impressed I am with so many intelligent and caring people I hear from every day in comments and your posts.  I count my blessings.  Cheers!    

I was nominated for the Creative Blogger Award by https://toniumbarger.wordpress.com (Thanks so much for the kind words)

Here are the 5 Random Facts About Me: 

1) Before working at the music store, I worked for a Toyota dealership and sold – wait for it —– Used Cars!!!!  I even sold a used car to my future wife.  I knew and still know nothing about cars other than how to drive them.  I was quite successful and my strategy was not to overwhelm customers with specs and technical jargon.  I just found out what they needed and suggested a couple cars they would like.  I loved the work but hated the tactics and methods used by the managers, finance department and just about everything except the money.  It was not worth it to me so I quit selling used cars and started working at the music store for a lot less money. I also sold a car to my future wife.

2) In my last count including technical schools and college I have attended eighteen schools.  I did this count so long ago I can’t remember all the schools now! This is why I’m bad at names and good at getting to know someone very quickly.   I have a difficulties remembering names and places.  I knew family, but unless you were around for a long time, I simply didn’t try to remember names of kids at school, or teachers, or buildings, or neighbors.  But I was good at making friends and connecting with customers.  I can tell you every piece of equipment my music store customers owned, where they played (not by name… but location), and know what style of music they were into but could not remember their names. It is a real challenge in the sales and music industries!  If I could remember names and network, I would be dangerous!    

3) I have studied Martial Arts for years.  My choice to pursue Tae Kwon Do came from the name (I was told it loosely translated to open hand – open fist, meaning no weapons).  The other thing that I liked is they start teaching defense postures rather than attack moves.  If you were challenged and the ‘attacker did not play fair’ we were also trained how to incapacitate them or simply take them out if needed.   One of my songs has a line – ‘I am a pacifist that just loves a good fight’!  I have never had to use it against an attacker but the training and philosophy have lasted a very long time.

4) In reality, with all my posts on musical theory,  I do not read sheet music!  I know how it works and if I had to I could, but I learn and play by ear.  (I have to work at it but I get there)  If I need to use the sheet music to learn a piece, once I have learned it enough to play, I never use the sheet notation again.

5)  Speaking of cars, I guarantee I can teach any licensed driver how to drive a car with a standard transmission in less than ten minutes……..

Instead of tagging a few of you, because I really do enjoy so many of your blogs on a daily basis, I’m encouraging you to share a few random facts about yourself with me – Anything you want to share is welcome. I love getting to know you all and I’m thankful every day to be a part of such an open, welcoming and diverse community.                                                  

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After speaking with a number of people over the years I have gotten the impression that I have a few lucky and maybe rare experiences.  One of the common conversations revolve around dreams or rather nightmares.  Some people have nasty dreams, wake during the night and other symptoms.  Other than what I will describe below, I do not think I have EVER had a nightmare or what people would describe as a bad dream.

I do have repeating dreams or dreams with common themes.  As a kid, going to the playground was always a treat. Some kids play harder than others.  Our family used to compete on how fast you could get going on the swing so you could jump off and land the furthest from the swings!  I wish I had some of that wear-and-tear back, but it was a lot of fun at the time!  So we would swing really fast, let go and jump as far as you could and get back on the swing and do it again. The closest thing I have had to a bad dream is the dream of swinging as a kid.  Everything is the same.  Sometimes lots of other kids (I had a big family so us and a few neighbors was a lot) sometimes I am swinging by myself.  Beautiful day and I swing really fast and when I get to the fastest/highest point I jump.  But now I can see that I am at the edge of a hill, and as I am soaring off the swing the ground below me is dropping off really fast and I am in effect getting higher and higher, even though the swing set is still right behind me at eye level.  I am panicking at this point and cannot believe it. Before I have time to think of something to do I notice I am not falling at all but gently soaring, looking down at the valley below.  The two seconds of adrenaline are gone and I am enjoying a beautiful view on a sunny day.

If you are brave enough….Give me an idea of dreams (or nightmares) that you have.  I think it might tell us a lot about our blogging community.

As a member of a cover band, I was given the opportunity to add something to my personal profile on the band web site.  I added a statement that went something like this; “we will play anywhere for free…..we just charge to move the equipment in and out”!

If you think about it, you would have to pay an awful lot of money to have ‘professionals’ move that much equipment.  Then they have to pack it all up and take it back at the end of the gig.  I have played keyboards, guitar, percussion and back up vocals in most of the bands I performed with.  Sometimes I also ran sound at the same time!  I was carrying so much gear for myself that I probably had more than the sound guy!  Once you haul equipment out of your house (I did not have duplicates, so what I used in the studio I had to tear down and take to the gig, set it up, tear it down, take it home and set it up in the studio again) and set up the gear you are all hot and sweaty and exhausted and now get to play for 4 plus hours, pack it all up and take it home.  Ahhhh, the glamourous rock and roll life.   Knowing all that, I think most people would be amazed at how little the local band playing the bar scene gets paid for all that work.   Maybe it is confusing because we call it ‘play’.  If I figured out an hourly rate I would probably get really depressed!

We also had to practice, individually and as a band.  No weekends free….  you get home at 3 or 4 in the morning and have to recover most of the day, then you play that night and do it all over again.  I always worked at a day job and still do, so this was about all the free time I had.  Now time for family, writing and recording projects and hopefully a little time in the sun.

Is it fun?  Absolutely.  I am an introvert and very shy in public, but it is a thrill to perform with great musicians and have the audience appreciate what you are doing.  I would not give it up, and if I were a bit younger I would still be out there.  At one point I told the band members that I would quit gigging out when I turned 50  – or my van broke down, whichever came first.  My van did break down first, but our light guy fixed it himself for free.  So I kept playing out.  Way past 50.  I recently stopped because tinnitus (a ringing in the ears from long exposure to loud sounds) got pretty bad in the last few years.  I only play out for special occasions these days, but it is still a blast.

Believe it or not, MTV started off as a media outlet for – VIDEOS!  It was not what it is today.  Music videos were still relatively new and there were not that many out there but they started being produced in numbers once MTV provided an outlet for them. The Chicken or the Egg thing all over again.  I did not own any video equipment, but I was familiar with photography and music, so it was a natural interest for me.  Back then, cable companies were starting to set up monopolies in various cities throughout the US and we were in the Warner Amex territory.  As part of their agreement with the city to provide cable and other services, Warner Amex made some of their equipment and channels available to local citizens. They provided training and allowed non-profit citizens to go through camera and editing training and once completed you could schedule use of their equipment to create content for viewing on their Public Access channels.

I was one of the first (my card was # 000090!!) to sign up for the training classes.  I would borrow their equipment and film bands and live performances, family growing, along with a number of other projects.

My first project was to make a video that introduced the idea and benefits of the Public Access program, (we hoped if we had a complimentary message it would be good for PR and relationships with the people that administered the program, (we were right). and a music video idea we had been working on.  This is by definition low-budget and is dated by equipment and resources available today. But it was a learning experiment and was a lot of fun.  To do a lot of what we did it took a bunch of planning and trial and error.  I had been playing keyboards for a very short time and there are a bunch of mistakes, I was new with the video editing and production, but not this was not bad for the first release.  Usually, I am also the cameraman, but filming my own band required additional operators.  I edited the video from the collection of raw tapes and a live performance of the song.

This video features my younger brother as the narrator and the music is from the duo I was in at the time called, “The Personal Touch.”  The intro theme is a musical piece called “The Big D Jam”.  The video is based on a song the guitar player wrote called “Transaxle“.   We took vague ideas and filmed them all.  Then edited them into something semi-cohesive!  There are a bunch of funny stories that went into the making of Walking Man but I will spare you for now.  The end credits use a song of mine introduced earlier called “The Pleasure Tax“.

As with many of these blasts from the past, there are lots of good memories and a number of painful ones.  Looking at this video again so many years after, I see my youngest brother Chris in his healthy days doing the narrative part introducing the musical video before health problems including throat cancer took their toll.  This is when we thought we would last forever….. there was no end in sight.  We do not last for ever.  For him, the end was so close to the beginning.   We all have our vices, but with legal ones like tobacco and alcohol killing people every day, we all know someone that has been affected by the results. Here is the real message we should be sending; These drugs may not kill you.  You will not lose ten years of your life.  You will survive – and grow old – and suffer – for decades, with a disease that is eating you from the inside out. I am glad I was there to help him a little as he faced the end.  I would have given anything to find another path for him, but he knew where he was going.  It did not stop him and neither could I.